It’s almost upon us! The second largest greeting card day of the year. That day when lovers express their love for each other by spending money on boxes of chocolate, heart-shaped everythings, and over-priced baubles. Cupid has packed his quiver to the bursting point and will be breaking flight speed records trying to skewer people the world over!
Ahhhh. It’s a good day to have a “significant other”! But what if you don’t? What if you’re happily single? Heck... what if you’re unhappily single? What in the world is a single person supposed to do on Valentine’s Day?
Have no fear, the idea man is here with four ways that single people can have a very fine Valentine’s Day.
Idea 1: Treat yourself to two nice meals for the price of one. Quite often, lesser-known local restaurants will offer 2-for-1 entrées on Valentine’s Day in order to draw in new customers. Make a reservation, show up with a rose, order two entrées, and then pretend like you’ve been stood up. Enjoy one of your delicious entrées and take the other home for dinner the next day!
Idea 2: Treat yourself to a movie on the big screen. It’s amazing how many couples go to see movies on Valentine’s Day. What’s the point? They can’t talk during the show, so they just sit there and quietly watch the screen while the guy’s arm goes numb draped across his date’s shoulders. Go to the same movie by yourself and you’ll experience the same lack of conversation, your arm won’t be numb, and you’ll get all the popcorn for yourself!
Idea 3: Treat yourself to a box of chocolate... the day after Valentine’s Day. Save your money on Valentine’s Day by having a quiet evening at home, but then hit your local drug store on February 15th to get some great bargains for your sweet tooth!
Idea 4: Use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to tell people how much you care. Instead of eating out, going to the theater, or planning your chocolate binge, why not sit down at your computer and spend the evening letting people know that they’re special to you. Login to facebook and write on some walls or send some private messages. If you don’t use social media, then crank out some old fashioned emails. Remind old friends (or old flames) of a special time you shared. Tell your current friends how much they mean to you. Let your family know that you love them (or start mending relations if you’ve had a falling out). Make Valentine’s Day a time to share your love on a wider scale!
Being single doesn’t mean that you have to feel lonely and depressed on Valentine’s Day. And trust me – you may be single but you’re certainly not alone! There are plenty of other people in the same boat. So I’ve given you a few ideas, but I’m sure you can come up with some ideas of your own. Whatever you do, just remember to have fun with it. It’s very possible to be extremely happy spending Valentine’s Day the single way!
Train hard and pray harder,
Brandon Jubar
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Friday, February 13, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Do You REALLY Listen?
"Oh. Yeah. Uh-huh." (I can't believe the boss wants that report by 8am...) "Really? Wow." (I really need to write a blog post about these ridiculous talking heads on TV...) "What? Yes, of course I'm listening!"
Have you ever had a conversation like that? You know the kind... when someone is talking to you but it seems like your mind wants to focus on everything except what the person is saying to you. Perhaps you start out okay, but then they'll say something that makes you remember a story on the news, which gets you thinking about the news in general and how you can't stand that new obnoxious little weather guy and... you've completely missed what the other person was saying to you!
These are incredibly interesting times we're living in. Technology has absolutely exploded in recent years and we have truly entered the "information age". I mean, when my mom tells me to "Google it" and my 11-year-old son asks if he can set-up a Facebook profile, I'd have to say that the Internet has finally become ubiquitous. Of course, with all of this information literally at our fingertips, it's easy to become overloaded and unfocused.
At least in the US, we tend to have a tradition of poor listening. Oh, we can 'hear' just fine, but we generally have trouble truly listening to the ideas of others. We listen long enough to jump to a conclusion about what you're saying, and then we turn our brainpower towards planning our response so we're ready once you finally stop to take a breath.
Now if all you do is spend time debating with people, this may work out just fine for you. However, if you're at all interested in building friendships and maintaining relationships with loved ones, then you must practice your listening skills.
Active/Reflective Listening is something that I was trained to do a long time ago, and what it basically boils down to is that you ensure comprehension by reflecting back what you've just heard the other person say... and mean. For example, if your spouse is going on and on about how terrible the boss was and how bad traffic was and how rotten lunch was, then you might respond by saying, "Wow! Between your boss, your commute, and a cold hamburger, it sounds like you've had a horrible day!"
Of course, that's a relatively easy example. Oftentimes the meaning behind what a person is saying can be significantly different than their actual words. Whether intentional or not, it's fairly common for people to veil their true feelings, especially if they haven't really dealt with those feelings. When that's the case, active/reflective listening takes a much greater effort.
Unfortunately I don't have time to do a thorough training treatise about active/reflective listening right now, and (luckily) that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is that when we do more than nod and say "uh-huh" when someone is talking to us -- when we try to be more actively engaged in what they're telling us -- the more likely it is that we'll be able to stay focused, block out the "noise" from other thoughts, and show the other person that we really do care.
Family & Relationships Tip #1: Really listen to people when they talk to you. Become actively involved in the conversation and ensure your understanding by reflecting their ideas back to them, but in your own words. Don't let your mind wander and don't be thinking about what you're going to say next. Place all of your attention with the person to whom you are speaking.
Family & Relationships Bonus: If you're really good, you'll not only listen and reflect back, but you'll start to ask open-ended questions as well. These questions should not be "leading" questions that guide the conversation, nor should they be "yes/no" questions. Try to ask questions that encourage the person to share more information with you. It can be something as simple as asking, "Can you tell me a little more about that?"
Train hard but pray harder,
Brandon Jubar
Have you ever had a conversation like that? You know the kind... when someone is talking to you but it seems like your mind wants to focus on everything except what the person is saying to you. Perhaps you start out okay, but then they'll say something that makes you remember a story on the news, which gets you thinking about the news in general and how you can't stand that new obnoxious little weather guy and... you've completely missed what the other person was saying to you!
These are incredibly interesting times we're living in. Technology has absolutely exploded in recent years and we have truly entered the "information age". I mean, when my mom tells me to "Google it" and my 11-year-old son asks if he can set-up a Facebook profile, I'd have to say that the Internet has finally become ubiquitous. Of course, with all of this information literally at our fingertips, it's easy to become overloaded and unfocused.
At least in the US, we tend to have a tradition of poor listening. Oh, we can 'hear' just fine, but we generally have trouble truly listening to the ideas of others. We listen long enough to jump to a conclusion about what you're saying, and then we turn our brainpower towards planning our response so we're ready once you finally stop to take a breath.
Now if all you do is spend time debating with people, this may work out just fine for you. However, if you're at all interested in building friendships and maintaining relationships with loved ones, then you must practice your listening skills.
Active/Reflective Listening is something that I was trained to do a long time ago, and what it basically boils down to is that you ensure comprehension by reflecting back what you've just heard the other person say... and mean. For example, if your spouse is going on and on about how terrible the boss was and how bad traffic was and how rotten lunch was, then you might respond by saying, "Wow! Between your boss, your commute, and a cold hamburger, it sounds like you've had a horrible day!"
Of course, that's a relatively easy example. Oftentimes the meaning behind what a person is saying can be significantly different than their actual words. Whether intentional or not, it's fairly common for people to veil their true feelings, especially if they haven't really dealt with those feelings. When that's the case, active/reflective listening takes a much greater effort.
Unfortunately I don't have time to do a thorough training treatise about active/reflective listening right now, and (luckily) that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is that when we do more than nod and say "uh-huh" when someone is talking to us -- when we try to be more actively engaged in what they're telling us -- the more likely it is that we'll be able to stay focused, block out the "noise" from other thoughts, and show the other person that we really do care.
Family & Relationships Tip #1: Really listen to people when they talk to you. Become actively involved in the conversation and ensure your understanding by reflecting their ideas back to them, but in your own words. Don't let your mind wander and don't be thinking about what you're going to say next. Place all of your attention with the person to whom you are speaking.
Family & Relationships Bonus: If you're really good, you'll not only listen and reflect back, but you'll start to ask open-ended questions as well. These questions should not be "leading" questions that guide the conversation, nor should they be "yes/no" questions. Try to ask questions that encourage the person to share more information with you. It can be something as simple as asking, "Can you tell me a little more about that?"
Train hard but pray harder,
Brandon Jubar
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