Flex Those Prayer Muscles

When we say the word "prayer", images of darkened rooms, flickering candles, and quiet reflection usually pop into most peoples' minds. But prayer is about communication with God, and communication can take many forms. For some people, quieting the ruckus in their minds is much more easily accomplished not through stillness, but through motion.

For thousands of years, many Asian cultures have practiced meditation in motion. One such art is Tai Chi. Though a martial art, it is also an excellent way to quiet the mind, center the body, and open your heart to the Lord. The flowing sequences of memorized movements allows one to expend nervous energy and anxiety, and the repetition acts like white noise, helping block out the thoughts that can interfere with prayer.

Likewise, regular exercise can be used in this fashion. Putting your body through its paces of familiar exercises can help raise your overall energy, improve your focus, and make it far easier to listen for what the Lord has to say. It's as if the exertion of one's physical being occupies the body so completely that the mind is left to other things.

Spirituality & Prayer Tip #1: Whatever form of exercise you choose, whether it be weight-training, running, martial arts or anything in between, it can be combined with prayer to create a good spiritual workout as well. Exercising the body and the soul -- the ultimate in cross training!

Train hard but pray harder,
Brandon Jubar

Do You REALLY Listen?

"Oh. Yeah. Uh-huh." (I can't believe the boss wants that report by 8am...) "Really? Wow." (I really need to write a blog post about these ridiculous talking heads on TV...) "What? Yes, of course I'm listening!"

Have you ever had a conversation like that? You know the kind... when someone is talking to you but it seems like your mind wants to focus on everything except what the person is saying to you. Perhaps you start out okay, but then they'll say something that makes you remember a story on the news, which gets you thinking about the news in general and how you can't stand that new obnoxious little weather guy and... you've completely missed what the other person was saying to you!

These are incredibly interesting times we're living in. Technology has absolutely exploded in recent years and we have truly entered the "information age". I mean, when my mom tells me to "Google it" and my 11-year-old son asks if he can set-up a Facebook profile, I'd have to say that the Internet has finally become ubiquitous. Of course, with all of this information literally at our fingertips, it's easy to become overloaded and unfocused.

At least in the US, we tend to have a tradition of poor listening. Oh, we can 'hear' just fine, but we generally have trouble truly listening to the ideas of others. We listen long enough to jump to a conclusion about what you're saying, and then we turn our brainpower towards planning our response so we're ready once you finally stop to take a breath.

Now if all you do is spend time debating with people, this may work out just fine for you. However, if you're at all interested in building friendships and maintaining relationships with loved ones, then you must practice your listening skills.

Active/Reflective Listening is something that I was trained to do a long time ago, and what it basically boils down to is that you ensure comprehension by reflecting back what you've just heard the other person say... and mean. For example, if your spouse is going on and on about how terrible the boss was and how bad traffic was and how rotten lunch was, then you might respond by saying, "Wow! Between your boss, your commute, and a cold hamburger, it sounds like you've had a horrible day!"

Of course, that's a relatively easy example. Oftentimes the meaning behind what a person is saying can be significantly different than their actual words. Whether intentional or not, it's fairly common for people to veil their true feelings, especially if they haven't really dealt with those feelings. When that's the case, active/reflective listening takes a much greater effort.

Unfortunately I don't have time to do a thorough training treatise about active/reflective listening right now, and (luckily) that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is that when we do more than nod and say "uh-huh" when someone is talking to us -- when we try to be more actively engaged in what they're telling us -- the more likely it is that we'll be able to stay focused, block out the "noise" from other thoughts, and show the other person that we really do care.

Family & Relationships Tip #1: Really listen to people when they talk to you. Become actively involved in the conversation and ensure your understanding by reflecting their ideas back to them, but in your own words. Don't let your mind wander and don't be thinking about what you're going to say next. Place all of your attention with the person to whom you are speaking.

Family & Relationships Bonus: If you're really good, you'll not only listen and reflect back, but you'll start to ask open-ended questions as well. These questions should not be "leading" questions that guide the conversation, nor should they be "yes/no" questions. Try to ask questions that encourage the person to share more information with you. It can be something as simple as asking, "Can you tell me a little more about that?"

Train hard but pray harder,
Brandon Jubar

Keep a Spending Log

In these difficult economic times, it can be very hard to remain positive or optimistic... if we're focused on the wrong things. Let's face it: when times are good, many of us get focused on "stuff". We mortgage bigger houses. We buy nice furniture on credit (0% and no payments for a year). We splurge on that 52" HD TV. We take the family out for a nice meal once or twice a week. We... well... you get the picture.

I'll admit that I was in the same boat. Of course, much of my predicament happened because my job moved south of the border so I had to move from Michigan to El Paso, Texas -- and ended up with a huge mortgage (to get the type of house my family needs) and a cottage in Michigan that we can't unload for anything! But I digress.

The point is, when times were good we tended to be focused on acquiring more "stuff". Unfortunately, most of us did the acquiring through the use of credit. Now we find ourselves with limited options because our bills exactly match our paychecks. There is no money left at the end of the month. In fact, there is often more month left at the end of the money! For all intents and purposes, we've become serfs, indebted so much to the banks and lending institutions that we can't leave the fiefdom.

Career and Personal Finance is one of the Triple-T Key Components because it's absolutely critical to our overall freedom. If every cent I make is needed in order to pay my bills, do I have the option of changing careers? Not unless I can move to a better paying job in a different field, and that's rarely possible. When I'm a slave to my paycheck, my options become few.

But all is not lost. As overwhelming as it may seem, I can still get things under control, and the first step is to understand exactly where all my money is going. Just as the first step towards losing weight is to keep a food log, the first step towards taking back control of your finances is to keep a spending log. What I did was put a little notepad and pen in my pocket and carried it with me wherever I went. In that notepad I jotted down everything I spent money on, whether it was a coffee in the morning, a salad for lunch, or a pack of gum from a vending machine. Once I really started noting where every penny was going, I was amazed at how much money I frittered away on a weekly basis.

After reviewing my spending results I was able to make some quick changes that have had an immediate bottom line impact. For example, by setting up the coffee maker the night before, I had hot coffee ready in the morning and didn't have to stop at the Circle-K on my way to work, which immediately saved me almost $8 a week! That's about $400 a year, just by changing my routine a bit. And don't get me started on lunches! Wow, can you save some money there!

Career & Personal Finance Tip #1: Keep a spending log and track every penny you spend for at least a month. Using that info, start making changes that reduce or eliminate your discretionary spending.

Career & Personal Finance Bonus: Be on the lookout for convenience spending, such as my morning coffee purchase. When we have more money than time, it might make sense to pay for convenience. But when we're trying to cut our spending, convenience may very well be the first thing that we need to stop buying!

Train hard but pray harder,
Brandon Jubar

Keep a Food Log

I don't get on the scale very often -- maybe once a week -- mainly because I don't believe that it's the best way to measure health & fitness. (Checking your body fat percentage? Now that's a bit better indicator!) However, "weight" is one of the measurements I've been tracking over the past few months, but I'm cautious about fluctuations our bodies have due to water retention or temporary dehydration. I mean, if a pro fighter can sweat out a dozen pounds in one day so he can qualify in a lower weight class, is it so hard to believe that our bodies can fluctuate a couple of pounds from day to day?

When I need to put a weight on my chart, which I had to do this week, I weigh myself for 3 days and take the highest of the three. I'm not sure why I don't go with the average. I guess it's just to make it more of a challenge.

Whatever the case, I weighed myself over the last three days and here are the results:

Sunday: 234 lbs.
Monday: 232 lbs.
Tuesday: 235 lbs.

So I noted on my chart that I now weigh 235 pounds, which means I've lost 23 pounds since the end of August.

Now I know that might not seem like a lot given the claims of all the fad diets these days. "Lose 30 pounds in 30 days!" Sounds great, but most of them basically suck. The truth is, a lot of people lose weight on those diets because the food selections are so limited that they end up restricting calories because they have no more appetite for the few things they can eat!

"Eat all the protein and fat that you want!" Sounds great, but what am I supposed to do with this stick of butter and a pound of bacon? And what about this cup of lard? Oh yeah... I forgot... I can dip my pork rinds in it.

Over the next few months, as I continue my journey to better health, I'll take the time to share what I'm doing with you. It's not overly complicated, but it is too much to share in a single post.

However, here is the first thing you should do (it's the very first thing that I did):

Start keeping track of everything that you eat and drink, every day.

I began by jotting everything down in a little notebook. Eventually I opened a free account at FitDay.com and started tracking everything online.

I'll be very honest with you: this was an absolute pain when I started, and sometimes I still have to make myself do it. BUT it's worth every second of time that it takes!

If you struggle with your weight like I did, you will probably be absolutely amazed at the amount of food that you eat! And don't, don't, don't just guess at quantities. Get yourself a little kitchen scale and really weigh that chicken breast or those fish fillets. Eventually you'll get better at more accurately eye-balling quantities, but make sure those eyeballs are wide open first!

Health & Fitness Tip #1: Keep a food log and use a kitchen scale to measure quantities.

Health & Fitness Bonus: When tracking your weight over a period of time, weigh yourself for 3 days in a row and record the average weight (or the highest weight, like I do). And whatever you do, don't weigh yourself every day. Fluctuations in water weight can be demoralizing when they're actually quite healthy and normal.

Train hard but pray harder,
Brandon Jubar

The thousand mile journey...

...begins with but a step. It's something I first heard a long time ago, and I've come across it in some form or another many, many times since then. It's a wonderful message and it's extremely appropriate for my first post on the TrainingTheTemple blog.

But first, let me tell you a little story about how this all came to be...

I've been involved in ministry since 1985, when I was fresh out of high school. Much of what I have done is in the area of youth ministry, but I have given workshops and seminars for both teens and adults and have been extremely active in my parish and in our diocese. Aside from that, I also have a vibrant, growing eMinistry. In short, when it comes to ministry, I have years of experience in many areas from which to call upon. And that is the first piece of the puzzle.

I earned my Bachelor in Communications from the University of Michigan, and then completed a 2-year Paralegal program at Oakland University. I decided against Law School though, and went on to earn my Master of Science in Administration from Central Michigan University. Believing I should learn a foreign language, I then took a few semesters of German. Unfortunately they canceled it as a major and I never did get that second Bachelor degree. I did, however, earn a second graduate degree by completing my Master in Pastoral Studies from Loyola University. To sum it up, I am a lifelong learner and perpetual student, and I will continue to learn everything I can about the things that fascinate me. And that is the second piece of the puzzle.

I was a high school athlete with multiple varsity awards, a trophy-winning distance runner, and a black belt in Karate. Once I entered college, I became even more focused on exercise and fitness; and I continued to read many, many books on health, diet, exercise, and fitness during the years following college. Being the perpetual learner, to this day I continue to soak up as much information as I can find on these subjects. And that is the third piece of the puzzle.

I want to help people. I enjoy helping people. In fact, my wife says my biggest fault is that I just can't say "no" to anyone! This tendency (compulsion?) also inspires me to share any knowledge that I've found to be useful in some way. I'm not much for trivia, but I definitely love to share helpful hints, tips, and ideas with anyone who cares to listen. And that is the fourth and final piece of the puzzle.

When I put all of those pieces together, I realized that I am being called to try something different. I feel called to use my knowledge, experience, gifts and talents to develop a new type of ministry -- a ministry that develops the individual so that he or she can then make an even greater difference in the world. For if there is one thing I have witnessed over the years, time and time again, it is that people who are healthier in body, mind, and spirit, are usually the ones who are better able to minister to others. By taking better care of themselves, they end up being better equipped to take care of the people around them.

That's where TrainingTheTemple comes in... and that's also the beginning of my thousand mile journey. I've spent a great deal of time developing the concepts and techniques that I'll be sharing with you over the next weeks, months, and (hopefully) years; but it is a journey! And being the perpetual learner that I am, I will continue to develop and refine things as we go. God can get it right the first time, but I'm not so vain as to think that I can.

Train hard but pray harder,
Brandon Jubar